Monday, July 26, 2010

Yellow Submarine

Culture, heritage, history ….they all sound like big & important words and I agree that every community’s identity is based on them.
Call me a racist dickhead or a biased naive vegan (mess with me and you’d see how much punch I pack even with my vegetarian diet) but I feel that the Yellow people ( Yes, the small eyed Asians) have gone way too far with clinging on to their ‘culture’ shit in terms of their cuisine.

Korea, to begin with, I don’t differentiate if its North or South since they both seem to have one common disgusting choice of delicacy. Dogs.
Yes, you heard it right, Dogs. The smaller it is the tender the meat is. You have got to be one real heartless douche bag to chop a little puppy into equal sized pieces. Now that’s the nutrition/consumption part.
What really bothers me is the ‘cultural’ aspect of it, traditional butchering methods call for intense torture before the slaughter. Some of the common methods include:
1. Hanging the dog/puppy upside down and then beating him to pulp while the animal is still alive, since ‘traditional guidelines’ mention that the meat becomes more tender the more suffering the animal goes through
2. Skinning the Dog alive and giving it mild electric shocks so that the panic releases ‘stress juices’ that make the meat more delicious

http://www.lifeinthefastlane.ca/dog-meat-in-beijing-ordered-off-menu-for-olympics/offbeat-news



Next on my list is the Sunrise nation, the country where everybody is constantly in an epic pose giving victory signals to each other and discussing the 15 different types of camera every citizen needs to possess as per law. Japan.

Japan’s hatred and vow to finish everything that’s in the sea started with Pearl Harbor. They started with big ships, but when they got their ass kicked, they relented to smaller targets like whales. They took their defeat after Pearl Harbor so seriously that now they have decided to finish off all existing whales from the seas of the world.

They have gone to the extent of getting approvals and permissions to continue whaling for ‘SCIENTIFIC REASONS’ while whaling stays illegal all throughout the world. Now wait a second, do you really need 1000 Whales a year to do your ‘sea life’ tests. I mean, aren’t these tests supposed to be beneficial for sea life, by finding ways to improve whale lives. Maybe the Japanese took the Islamic Terrorism model too seriously and want to ensure 72 virgins for the whales in THE NEXT LIFE.

That’s their scientific research.

They would put Greenpeace activists in jail, ensure a steady supply of prostitutes and cash for UN officials responsible for enforcing a complete whaling ban, sell Whale Fish as ‘Beeg Tunaa Fees Meet’ in their markets. There is no stopping, Japan is here to stay and Whales are there to go (forever).

Their cultural diktats mention how whale meat increases potency and vigor (no wonder they do 14 hour factory shifts and sleep when it’s time to make love), whale meat is a high source of energy (making your hand do the V sign 12 hrs a day REALLY drains the energy out). So hats off to another culture.

Third on my list are the Chinese. You’ve gotta give it to them, they are the fairest of the lot, they do not discriminate and eat everything from insects to Sharks. What’s important to note here is that China does not have a food grain shortage or a love for these animals. Apparently, the rarer is the animal is, the more prestigious it is ‘culturally’ to turn it into human excreta by transporting it via the human intestines.

Shark fin soup, Tiger Claw aphrodisiac, Rhino Horn powder, Lion Skin panties…the list is big..Not just the delicacies but also the WWF Endangered animal list. The Chinese do not shy away from wiping an animal off the face of the earth (They want supremacy, highest number of ‘animals’ on the planet should be Chinese people themselves) .




The funny thing is, scientifically proven, none of the animal body parts bring the desired results for which they are killed. It’s just a ‘tradition’ that they follow blindly.

Now that’s what happens when you let Jackie Chan write your cultural blueprint !

2 comments:

Madhvi Nawani said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xj0r4JawbE.

fyi, it is also a delicacy to feed a dog rice and then have the undigested rice from its stomach.

Unknown said...

I am sorry to say, you are wrong a dog is an animal as is a cow pig chicken or deer, there's 10000000's of dogs everywhere there not going extinct, I think that there's nothing wrong with that.and yes I can see why sharks should be off limits but it's there LAND if they don't like sharks then they should eat them it's all good.and the only thing i can agree with you on is that animal torture is wrong and should be outlawed everywhere.there's nothing wrong with humanely killing an animal to eat it. we the people were meant to eat animals and the fruits of the earth. as the Lord God himself said man has dominion over all animals.