The Dark Continent

My journeys through Africa always conjure up a mélange of random thoughts and an incessant supply of sighs that accompany the several incidents of infrastructural failures and civil disorders.

The West African region has always been subjected to travel advisories by hyper sensitive foreign missions and buckled up military attaches – exotic dangerous zones that are on the wish list of every adrenaline junkie. 

From bicycle world wanderers to war zone contractors, some of these countries still boast of regions that have barely tasted the first dew drops of 21^st century civilization ( of course, barring the Indian Gujaratis & the Lebanese businessmen – who inhibit these lands for not the rush or the exoticism but purely for money, such embarrassing pussies..Fuck).

Understanding the colonial past, the current political disarray and the systematic breakdown of development efforts would clearly make it easy for any outsider to realize why everyone from your average taxi driver to the uninterested restaurant server looks visibly upset and frustrated.

Most of the low rung able bodied male workforce you come across has served in the military, the rebel 

militia, as an armed criminal or just as an angry violent man protecting his family and property. Well, there is no sequence or pattern to those tenures and chances are that he has served both as Military and rebel at different stages. (Well, whoever pays on time gets his loyalty for sure!)

Ok, you have to give it to the Belgians and the French that they taught their subjects how to bake some good fuckin bread and come up with some great results from the oven. The beers aren’t bad too !

Having said that, they murdered and brutalized their ‘black slaves’ with such ease and comfort that it would make Adolf Hitler turn in his grave and feel bad about being soft on his concentration camp tenants. The standing instruction for the Belgian & French colonists was to kill any ethnic subject on the first instance of disobedience. Non compliance was subjective and something as small as refusing to do the dishes on the master’s command was a good enough reason to land up in the pit with a bloody hole to the chest.

Since this is not a history lesson and the world has moved on – let’s get the shit straight here – West African colonies had their fair share of brutality, subjugation and humiliation at the hands of their masters. This history of torture and colonization can be a major production mill for frustration when countries like DRC are plush with natural resources and have no reason to experience poverty or to have its citizens treated like dirt worldwide. (Till early 2000s, people used to randomly stumble upon diamonds while walking along the Congo river in the capital city Kinshasa – that does say SOMETHING about their mineral wealth abundance).

The world changes and so do the methods and ploys that the sinister human brain comes up with. The new colonists don’t swear by the gun (the US failed in Iraq/Afghanistan) but rather by carving up an intricate and complex economic web of bribing the fat cats- aid grants- technology dependence and a fair bit of surrogate arm twisting in the political arena.

Taking the example of the Democratic Republic of Congo here – apart from being well endowed, the men here are also known to be trigger happy and extremely violent. Studies and historical memoirs prove it was not like that in the beginning. The inhabitants of the region were the standard Hollywood variety jungle people who would  welcome all- lets wear leaves around our ass and dance in a circle –happy go lucky tribals who got tricked by the cap wearing white explorers and later on by the innocent looking cross wielding missionaries. 

On a side note, I always like the mystery around the nuns - I mean the missionaries have a sex position named after them, but anyway, back to the Africa analysis.

The DRC of today is a country plagued with rampant corruption, infrastructure breakdown (or the lack of it), abject poverty and a violent civil war that has claimed the most lives after the 2^nd world war.

But these guys aren’t Muslims and they are black – There will be no Muslim groups crying for them like they whine about Palestine all the time. The West doesn’t give a fuck either, and the Asians – well let’s just say the Asians are the new Jews. In all this chaos, it’s the Chinese (and to some extent the Indians) who feel it’s their turn to suck the juices of bliss in this otherwise supposedly god forsaken land.

At the peak of the civil war in the 90s that lasted about 8 years, there were close to 10,000 casualties a day in Congo alone. Final casualty figures cross the 5 million mark. A million Hutu civilians died in Rwanda as well. The civil war still rages in the country’s restive eastern part as of 2013.

But hey! The world’s a crazy place, shit happens all the time, you can’t just hold on to some statistical numbers and get all melodramatic about it. There is Swine flu and I-phone 6 to worry about. (not to mention Argo beat Lincoln at the Oscars, Go Argo !)

Today’s West Africa needs international intervention – the western arms industry has been fuelling the civil wars here to keep their weapons business greased up with fresh supply orders. Sponsoring a dictator and then instigating his rival to throw the first one off the grid has become a morbid fun game for some of the western countries who see it in their best interest to keep Africa under-developed. The international intervention we are talking about involves stopping undue interventions in someone else’s mess. Let them fight it out, figure it out, learn to evolve and handle their own mess.

Some critics might disagree with me and claim that whatever little sanity or civilized lifestyle that was imparted in Africa, was indeed a blessing to those inhabitants. Well, Ethiopia stands out as a clear example of a country that staved off the colonial powers and has now turned out to be a pretty decent place – the people are warm, welcoming and anything but violent.

But all my thoughts about the situation perhaps seem to be an implausible vile rambling of a rabid uncouth South Asian. After all, where else can the Americans adopt cute black babies from without much paperwork – they make such adorable pets. The game safaris, the exorbitant per diem payments for the contract work to build temporary ‘bus sheds’ and the great employment opportunities that come with development work in these countries. I have honestly met so many white ‘advisors and contractors’ that advise and consult on ridiculous projects. That money could have probably fed thousands of starving IDPs (Internally displaced refugees).

But looking at it, paying $600/day to an American consultant at the Health Ministry who adds value to the society by training people on the benefits of using soap properly after taking a dump is a much bigger priority than feeding let’s say a bunch of dying infants in a refugee camp. WHAT IF someone handled their powdered milk jar with unwashed hands, that would be so uncool.

A great continent that once had its own thing going on – the rich cultural heritage, the vast expanses of pristine virgin natural wonders, music-tribal arts and tradition - will only move in the direction of mayhem in the foreseeable future.

Its inhabitants who could have been suave and educated will forever be condemned and be looked upon suspiciously for their aggressive demeanor and their tendency to rob you at the first available instance. Guess what, it is the outsiders who taught them this violence and the art of robbery – and now, they should forever be destined to live-thrive-survive-connive on the Dark Continent.